Who owns what is an important issue in any domestic relationship. For married couples, most property matters are settled by established law. Couples not legally married, straight or gay, must make their own arrangements. In order to avoid the disaster of a gay or lesbian couple going to court to settle property disputes, we strongly recommend that couples make "relationship contracts" and assign someone to arbitrate disputes for them. The assistance of a lawyer in drawing up a contract may be advisable for complicated arrangements.

In North Carolina, personal property belongs to the person whose name is on the title, if there is a title. For that reason, it is a simple matter to tell who is the owner of a vehicle or a mobile home. Persons who want to own a vehicle or mobile home jointly can do so by putting both names on the title. If only one member of a lesbian or gay couple is on the title, the title holder will be the owner of the property if the couple splits up.

If the property has no title, the owner is the person who paid for it. A sales slip, check or credit card receipt serves as proof of purchase. In the event of separation, the purchaser legally owns the property. If a couple intends to own a couch together, for example, it would not be wise to have one person pay for it and the other buy an equal amount of groceries or pay the electric bill for a few months. The only way to have joint ownership of the couch is to pay for it with a joint checking account or credit card, or to have a written contract saying the sofa is jointly-owned property.

Unmarried couples who wish to acquire real estate can do so in various ways. They may establish a joint tenancy with right of survivorship, which provides that, upon the death of one co-owner, the other becomes sole owner of the property, with the deceased owner's share going directly to the survivor without passing through the estate. The interest of one co-owner can be seized to satisfy the debt of that co-owner, and one co-owner may sell his or her interest or file a court action to have the property equally divided. Either of these events will revoke the right of survivorship and create a "tenancy in common".

Tenancy in common is another form of co-ownership in which each party owns possibly unequal shares. Upon the death of one co-owner, his or her share passes into the estate.

When people who are not husband and wife acquire property jointly, it will be presumed that they own the property as tenants in common, unless the deed or other title document contains the names of the parties followed by the words "as joint tenants with right of survivorship and not as tenants in common."

Deeds to real property can also be drawn to give an individual a life estate in the property, meaning that one person has lifetime rights in the property someone else gets the property when the "life tenant" dies. The advantages and disadvantages of these arrangements are beyond the scope of this book. Ownership of property is a complicated matter that requires careful attention and the assistance of a lawyer familiar with the needs of homosexual individuals and couples.

Other forms of property ownership, such as trusts, partnerships, or corporations, may be appropriate depending on the circumstances and needs of the parties.

The advice of a lawyer can be helpful in choosing the form of ownership and in drafting a legal document to meet specific requirements. For example, a document can require arbitration or mediation of disputes by an arbitrator or mediator of the parties' choice. An arbitration award under a properly drafted agreement is binding and will be enforced by the courts.